i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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