I could make wine with my vomit
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize