There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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