So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
