smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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