I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Little spoons don't ask big questions
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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