Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
