Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
