I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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