in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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