I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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