Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
