My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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