I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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