I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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