My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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