I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
