Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
