it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
