I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
