Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
