did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
