Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
