is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You don't make any sense
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His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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