god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
