I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
