: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
