Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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