omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
