Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
