My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
