Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
