I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i out mim tonsoeep
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