didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
