And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
