His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
