Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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