TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
