is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
