she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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