i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize