was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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