it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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