I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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