god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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