dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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