The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
