I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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