can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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