Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
