Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
