You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
