I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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