..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
