I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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