i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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