I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
