you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
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I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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