He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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