I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
