You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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