Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she peed on how many people?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
