I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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