She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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