i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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