am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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